Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

TV's top comedians used their airtime mocking former President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a obvious pay-to-play scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical holiday song about the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... ruins everything he touches."

Colbert's target was the controversial plan that permits international citizens to purchase U.S. residence for the price of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for five million. An official website guarantees approval "faster than ever."

"A quick note for you to rich applicants: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, involving significant costs. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – if it's the a specific Marriott," he added.

"The best vetting the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit affluent international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"It might be time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a attempt to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.